The Life of the Chubby Black Cat: Cat Adventures To Drive Me Crazy

About two months after moving into our house, I was coming home from work. I drove up the road and saw a little black something - I wasn't quite sure what - scamper to a culvert near a barn. It looked like a cat. I wasn't sure, though, because it had run so fast and I didn't get a good look at it.

I got out of the car and went to the culvert. I knelt down and peered inside. Two golden-green eyes were staring at me, along with a weak, raspy "meow."

"Come 'ere, little kitty," I chided.

Out came this little black cat. He let me pick him up. He was extremely light and I knew he needed food.

I put him in my car and drove the short distance up to the house.

Since I had two cats, I had plenty of food on hand. I put some into a bowl. In the next instant, the food was gone. He'd inhaled it. I fed him some more and he devoured it again.

When he looked full, I gently picked him up and walked back down towards the neighbor's house wondering if they had gotten a cat. I had never seen one and as far as I could tell, they only had a dog.

I set the little black cat down by the culvert, hoping he'd travel back to wherever he came from, though I was puzzled that he seemed so starved for food.

He didn't do any such thing. He walked back up to our house. He stayed, too - despite a crazy dog and two other cats. I tried walking him back to the neighbor's house but they were never home when I went to knock on the door to see if he was theirs.

I called the vet and put an ad in Craigslist saying I'd found a cat.

No one responded and our neighbors never got back to us about the kitty.

So, now we had three cats and a dog.

We almost named him Culvert, but settled for Pepe.

Incidentally, about six months later, our neighbors walked up to our house and happened to see the cat. They asked if he had a blue collar on when we first saw him. Uh-oh. I quickly explained how he ended up at our house and that we didn't mean to steal their cat. It was okay, though. They were allergic and apparently he'd come from some nursing home. His owner died and they were going to put him to sleep so they rescued him.

So that's how he chose us.

We named him Pepe because of our cat Zoe. Zoe was a black and white cat with a lot of attitude. She decided at once that she was going to have nothing to do with Pepe.

Pepe, on the other hand, relentlessly pursued Zoe to try to win her love. He'd walk over tentatively, bow his head in submission, but Zoe would always swat at him.

Pepe le Pew always went after the black and white kitty in the cartoons. It was very similar...except Pepe wasn't a skunk.

She played hard to get, and it made Pepe love her even more. He was always a perfect gentleman, too. He would always let her eat first, be the first to go outside, and pick out wherever she wanted to sleep, even if that meant sitting in his favorite chair with the cat pillow.

Unfortunately, Zoe left this life before Pepe could win her over. However, in his heart, he knows Zoe looks down upon him, able to see his heart of gold. He often goes over and sits near her grave and naps.

Every cat has their quirks. Pepe is no exception. After living with us for awhile, Pepe started loving on our dishrags.

What sort of dishrags you ask?

The ones that are used - from the sink! When we finish with a rag after washing dishes, we'll often throw it into a rag pile near the kitchen to be washed. If we don't take the rags to the laundry immediately, Pepe takes advantage.

He goes over, ever so slowly. He picks out the dirtiest, smelliest rag he can find. He'll flop over and rub his body all over it. Then, he'll pick it up with his paws and rub it all over his chest.

By the time he's finished, he'll smell just like the rag. After that, he always wants to go outside - I'm sure to "show the world" that he's loved and fed and has a story to tell - that's my theory, anyways.

We have learned a thing or two from Pepe. One thing is that when it's hot outside, you just have to take a break and nap.

He makes it obvious that you should take an afternoon siesta when he turns up his paws and bares his belly for all to see. Of course, with dark fur such as his, I wouldn't like the hot weather, either.

Another thing we learned about Pepe involves a phrase we like to use: hot, fat, and tired. After a meal, especially in the summertime, you just get hot, fat and tired. When you get like that, the only recourse is a fine catnap in the coolest part of the house.

As you can see, Pepe does not have a problem with being starved for food - not anymore and not by a long shot. On the contrary. Even when we try to feed him less, he's so adept at being a kountry kat, he'll just go find a kritter to krunch on.

As you can see, in the picture at right, Pepe (with his buddy Ralphie) doesn't have perfect ears. That's because right after he came to our house, he thought he could handle a bobcat. The bobcat was meowing all over the mountainside. Pepe went out to investigate. Moments later, we heard a catfight and Hash Brown the dog went out to save Pepe. Hash Brown ran toward the cats and broke up the fight. Pepe went for the culvert, while Hash Brown chased the bobcat away. When the coast was clear, Pepe poked his head out, his gold-green eyes looked around, and he sprinted for the house. Unfortunately, his ear was munched on, but Hash Brown saved the day. Instead of nine lives, Pepe now has eight. But, this incident earned him the name "Rumpled Ear-skin."

He has more nicknames. We sometimes call him Biscuit Paws because he has large paws reminiscent of little biscuits.

We also call him "Mr. Jingles." He has a bell on his collar so that he can't kill too many rodents or birds. Every time he walks around or moves, he jingles.

The other two names have to do with his weight. This cat went from being quite skinny to quite large. So, being a "little" creature, he's also known as "Little Fat Fatty."

He looks like he ate a cantaloupe, too. So, that's where "Jon-Cougar Melon-Cat" comes from.