Me, Myself or I - Grammar Errors
84
Myself Is Not Supposed To Be a Common Word
© C. Calhoun 2012. All rights reserved.
Politicians do it. TV Anchors do it. Even my boss does it. They all use the word MYSELF incorrectly. If I don't get the word out on how to use this reflexive pronoun correctly, it is highly likely I will be meeting some men in white coats in the near future.
The word "myself" creeps into our everyday vocabulary as if it has a right to kick out the word "I" and "me" out to the next zip code.
"Please contact myself or Doctor Grammarsbad if you have questions."
Do you know what images are conjured up in my mind at the sound of that? I tell you, I will not contact that person - I don't want to touch him or her, nor do I want to pat him or her on some part of the body. That's basically what that sentence says.
It's supposed to be:
Please contact Doctor Grammarsbad or me if you have any questions.
Give "ME" a chance!
The other day I was in a meeting and my boss was talking about some new program out there that we are going to adopt.
We are going to implement this program, folks. Myself and a few other people tried it and we liked it.
At that moment, I could not pay attention to whatever she was talking about. "Myself" was ringing in my head and whatever credibility my boss had at that moment was lost to the grammar gods. They had stolen her mojo and I was praying to them, begging for their mercy, because I was suffering. I was in agony: yet another perfectly educated citizen committing a grammar faux pas, sending my brain swirling into a dizzying overdrive of grammar points and rules. I felt nauseated. I felt like fainting.
Somebody get me some water, please? Or at least save me from myself.
Are You Liking the Grammar?
"Myself" Is a Reflexive Pronoun
"'Myself' is a what?" you ask.
Basically a reflexive pronoun is a word that expresses something you do to yourself.
I love myself.
I thought to myself, "I'm crazy!"
I bought myself a box of chocolates - I have cravings.
Notice something here: the word "myself" is always paired up with the oh-so-tiny word "I" in every sentence.
I'm drinking a huge gulp of water right now. I'm starting to feel more like myself. Gulp, gulp. Oh, and please don't tell the Men in White Coats about this episode. I'm already on grammatical probation. Please send your prayers to the grammar gods for me, too. I myself need their help.
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When Are You Supposed To Use "Myself"?
There are a few tricks and rules for using this word - this word that is like a meddling neighbor in the wrong zip code. He needs to stop hanging out on Personal Pronoun Street or on Objective Pronoun Avenue. A swift kick back to Reflexive Pronoun Boulevard is in order.
As I said before, "myself" is always paired with the word "I" in a sentence. It also involves doing something to yourself.
I banged myself on the head when I realized I had forgotten my wallet. (Don't bang too hard or you might hurt yourself!)
I wanted to treat myself to a massage after a long day of dealing with the Men in White Coats. (A massage really does sound nice right now.)
Intensive Pronoun
"Myself" can also be an intensive pronoun, meaning you'd like to EMPHASIZE that you, in fact, did something. (You can also use ALL CAPS to emphasize, but then people might think you're YELLING at them. Please don't do that - I'm still recovering from too many grammar mishaps.)
I myself wrote over two hundred pages for that project. (Wow! You wrote two hundred pages?)
I went to the store and bought the groceries myself. (You mean your best friend didn't go with you? Aw, were you lonely?)
Tips and Tricks for "Myself"
The trouble is, people don't usually use this word incorrectly if there's just one subject in the sentence:
Please talk to me.
I went with her to the psychiatrist.
If you add more than one person, the "me" and the "I" stay the same:
Please talk to Anne or me.
Marlo and I went with her to see the psychiatrist.
I beg you, dear readers, please do not make me commit myself. Please don't kick "me" and "I" to the next zip code. They deserve to be where they are. They deserve the dignity of living on their own street.
When in doubt, take out the second, or third subject and see if you would use "myself". You might find you sound like a crazy person:
Myself went to the store.
Um, really? So, what is it? Is there someone named "Myself"? Or, were you carried there by some invisible force? Do we need to call the Men in White Jackets?
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Do the Men White Coats Need To Take You Away?
When To Use "I" and "Me"
I won't bore you with the grammatical details of nominative and objective case. (Though, I find them truly fascinating...but well, that's why I have the number for the Men in the White Coats on my speed dial.)
If you don't remember anything else, remember this:
The word "I" goes before the verb. (Oh, please, please tell me you got through third grade KNOWING what subjects and predicates are!)
I went to the hospital.
She and I went to the hospital.
The dogs, Marlo and I went to the hospital.
The word "me" goes after the verb.
She gave the pills to me.
She gave more pills to Bill and me.
She gave pills to the dogs, to Bill, and to me.
See? They like staying in their separate zip codes.
When in doubt: do NOT use myself - Use "I" or "Me".
Why? Well, it's much more soothing to the ears if you're just getting "I" or "me" mixed up. I can forgive such grammatical crimes. "Myself" should only ever be used when paired up with "I" - then, yes, by all means, "myself" can visit "I" in the same zipcode - but make sure you're actually doing something to yourself. Otherwise, I'll call the grammar police (a.k.a. the Men in White Coats) and they WILL have you committed to that special hospital with the padded room and you can bang your head against the wall as many times as you want without hurting yourself. Or, I could just commit myself and save everyone the trouble.
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Fantastic hub! I especially appreciate your rundown of 'myself abuse' here. Very well written and fun to read. I'm still looking for the 'mandatory' button, so I will stick with voting it up and useful.
I got 90% ... close enough to 100% for me, myself and I. This hub reminds me of the Toby Keith song "I Wanna Talk About Me" A fun and informative hub!:)
billybuc - hehehe...I was thinking of you at one point thinking, "I hope billy finds this funny." Yes!! Thanks for stopping by. You made my day. You have no idea. ;0)
Marcy - aw, shucks. *blush* Hehehe...I just couldn't take "myself" anymore. Hahaha. Thanks so much for stopping by and for the votes. ;)
Not bad, Sunshine! Then Men in White Coats won't be too interested in your score, that's for sure. :D I'll have to look at that Toby Keith song...I was tempted to include the Billie Holliday song, "Me, Myself, and I" but I couldn't find a good video for it.
Me, myself, and I thank you for the clarification on the use of these complicated words. :) Well done and very helpful!
I just now noticed the quiz! I had to stop laughing to be steady enough to push the buttons (otherwise, I'd blame a wrong answer on my shoulders heaving from laughter). Hilarious!
Well shoot, I only got a 90% and I have no idea which one I missed...back to the books for this former teacher.
Oh, my gosh! I feel your pain! I have been thinking about writing a hub MYSELF about the use of "myself." haha. You beat me to it...and did a WONDERFUL job. Very well explained and so funny! I gave you all the votes, including up. This is a wonderful hub. I'm so jealous that you beat me to it, but I don't think I could have made it as fun to read as you have! Congrats! Sharing with others! Also tweeted and facebooked.
Hey, I'm watching Wheel of Fortune and just heard a contestant say "my wife and myself." I cringed for both of us! :-)
Enjoyed your hub, very interesting.
Another wonderful grammar note. I like the clarification of "myself." That's a tricky one for me. Voting this Up and Useful.
I myself would like to thank you!
Hehehe, thanks Tammy. :) I myself thank you very much! :D
Hahaha, Marcy, you're too funny!! That's awesome - I'm so glad you found this funny. :D
Hehehe, don't worry billybuc, I won't tell. ;) Just pretend you're an expert (after reading my grammar hubs, of course). Hehehe.
Hehe, Victoria, my fellow grammarian friend. ;) I've linked to one of your hubs here, too. It's the second one (I think) in the text. You see? I love your grammar hubs, too!
miss sheila - thank you so much for reading, stopping by and commenting. I'm really glad you enjoyed this hub!
I myself am honored that you've taken the time to comment again, alocsin. I appreciate your comments. :) Have to get over and read your new fitness hubs.
Audrey - I myself give you my gratitude in visiting and commenting. :) Thank you so much for stopping by.
Cool, cclitgirl, I didn't notice your link to one of my grammar hubs. So sweet of you. I'll remember that!
Oh, yes, Victoria. I've already found my favorite "grammar" hubbers. :D I'll be linking whenever I can. ;)
Awesome. I will, too!
@ Victoria: ((((HUGS))))
Another great grammar hub cclitgirl! I'm recommending you to my English teacher friends.
(And yes, I mostly publish crochet patterns that's why my HP name is MoiraCrochets.)
uh! I love this great hub...very useful information there...Voted up
Hehe, Moira, if you're not careful, you might end up crocheting question marks and exclamation points. ;) Thanks for the great feedback. I'll keep 'em coming. :D
Ian - thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate the votes and I'm so glad you enjoyed this hub. :)
You have a wonderful way of using humor to get your point across! If we were allowed to put links into comment sections, I would love to add a link to this hub to some of the other hubs I've read! I wonder if the authors would take the hint? Voted up and SHARED with followers!
They're coming to take me away--ha ha, they're coming to take me away--ha, ha!
Great job here! Love your humorous twist. I've written a few similar rants, myself! The video was great, and pointed out the exact 'trial tips' I ususally offer to folks on the "I vs. me" question.
Another tip for use of "myself," is that it can often be traded out for "personally." I.e., "I personally don't like meat." or "I don't like meat, myself." With trading out "personally," the sequence can also be reversed, "Personally, I don't like meat."
Getting through any grade without learning all those terms? Guilty as charged! However, I grew up in a family of readers, and learned the correct words and grammatical usage by osmosis. I never could figure out all the terminology; I failed miserably at diagramming sentences. Yet, I was the "go-to" gal for helping classmates correct their essays, and I still do proof reading on the side.
Voted up across the board and shared.
(May I share that gurney with you?)
What I have never understood about myself is why am I me and not, for instance, you, or any of the other billions of people, or someone quite different from any of them and from the me I am? Have I been in each of my lives the same me or a new me? When Dr. Who the time traveler meets himself, is he me to both hims? Or are the Buddhists right in saying (or so I have heard about them) that the sense of self is an illusion?
Another great grammatical tutorial cclitgirl. Luv it!
Hehe, thanks Stephanie. I get rather tired of the same old drab reads about grammar. Who wants to read that? I always thought grammar was fun - if only because I could think about it in these terms and make it fun. I figure if I can do the same for other people, then awesome! I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :D
DzyMsLizzy - hehehe...thanks for your wonderful comments. I also like your input about the "personally" trick - that's neat. Oh, lordy, for some reason I LOVED learning the terminology, even when I was young. I loved making up songs about subjects and predicates, and listing of objects of prepositions: Oh, where oh where does the mouse go? Hehehe. Share the gurney? I've got a better idea: you get one and I'll get one and we'll have bed races! :D
Hmmm, B. Leekley - I'd say that I am me for right now, but maybe over there I could be you, so that at some point along the timeline I could be you and me at once. Theoretically, when you travel at the speed of light, time slows down so that it's infinite. So, if you're a "me" travelling at the speed of light, then you could me "I am, I was, and I will be for infinity". How's that? ;) Thanks for stopping by and no, it's not an illusion - at least not in my universe. But, in another universe, well, you could argue that "self" is really part of one big ecological system, that all things are connected at once, like aspen trees. But, now I'm going way deeper than I meant to and I think there could be a hub idea in the works...or a sign that I need to dial a certain number on my speed dial. Thanks for stopping by!
LucidWarrior - haha, thanks so much for stopping by again. Great to see you and I'm really glad you're liking my grammar hubs. :)
Hahahaha...making up songs about predicates, et al? Sounds like you were born "just a few" years too late to help Gilbert and Sullivan write a patter song! Hee hee
Bed races--oh, fun! :-D
I know, I know, I'm a grammar geek, DzyMsLizzy, but then again, does it surprise you that I'm a language teacher in my "real" life? Hehehe. I sure do like that idea about the bed races - we could bowl over the men in white jackets. They wouldn't know what hit 'em! :D
I love your hubs on the use of English! I never thought someone could make very specific grammar subjects like this fun (well, at least in text form), but you pull it off.
I'm bookmarking these for when I get back to teaching EFL, as they will be good info sources for the classroom (please message me if that is a problem - don't want to step on any toes).
SHARED, up and awesome!
I love this hub. Bookmarked for reference. And I just saw the men in white coats run away after I got 10 in the quiz. Great hub! Thanks!
Hehe, Brett - that's the point - I WANT people to use these, for it truly does drive me slightly insane for the amount of grammar crimes that exist. hehehe. I don't want anyone else "serving time" for the "grammar crimes". hahah. Thanks for SHARING.
arbiter - yes! I love it when people defeat the men in white coats! They have better things to do anyways...like chase after people who commit grammar crimes. ahaha. Thanks so much for stopping by!
I love your grammar hubs! And me, myself and I found this one particularly funny ;)
I completely support you on your 'quest' to learn people their grammar; those stupid mistakes can be so annoying.. (Did I use that semicolon right? Oh well, that's another hub!)
Voting up and sharing!
Haha, Robin, you're too funny. I'm so glad you found this enjoyable. :D Thanks so much for SHARING.
Hello again--
This morning, after tending our senior kitty who has "issues" surrounding her litterbox, I made a statement to my husband, and in that moment realized that the same rules about "myself" also apply to "him/herself." As I said to hubby about the cat, "She herself was apparently in the box..."
**Calling hospital bed rental agencies right now** ;-)
hahaha, see? YOU'VE GOT IT! :D Way to go, DzyMsLizzy.
Fantastic. As a former ESL teacher I can sympathise (Aussie spelling - Gee it annoys me that Hub Pages is always putting that squiggly red line under words I spell with an 's' and not a 'z'!) with you. Spelling, grammar and other skills seem to be an endangered species - especially in the case of my Real Estate agent - who scarily has the duty of advertising my property with a plethora of mistakes resulting! I had to proof the ad twice before she managed to get it right! A very useful hub and voted up!
Hehe, Rufus - I'm a Spanish teacher; I can relate. I hope your real estate agent can overcome her grammatical shortcomings and help sell your place! :) Good luck to you. Thanks so much for commenting. :)
So funny and educational at the same time, I really enjoyed reading this hub. Voted up and shared !
As a linguist myself, I am glad to see this prescriptive treatment of a reflexive. I grow weary of other so-called editors espousing erroneous rules to attract work for themselves. But I hope that you yourself intend to write about the other reflexives, beginning, of course, with 2p, "And how about yourself/ves?" Sadly, when one constructs grammatical sentences such as these, one never knows whether the message is understood by anyone but oneself.
Although I went to a 'Grammar' school, I never really learnt grammar, and fail to see how anyone can learn all these rules. Sigh. I know my grammar isn't very good, I just hope it 'sounds' right. Reading good books might help. I do like straightforward rules like the one about myself always having an 'I' to go with it.
A lot of people need to read this hub. I also hate the way people use myself wrongly. I lived in Germany for 15 years and when I came back in 2005 people were talking like this. I don't think they did it before.
I hate it when the boss puts notices up with a new instruction and then puts, "If you don't understand come and speak to myself". It makes me cringe when people say this.
A good hub.
I'm so glad you liked this, Ingenira. I appreciate the votes and thank you for SHARING. :)
Howard S. - impeccable use of your reflexive pronouns! I do say that you have got the touch! Well, now, you've given me another hub idea! :)
Les Trois Chenes - I think a lot of people can acquire good grammar from reading good books. :) Straightforward rules are always good, too. It's the exceptions that drive everyone crazy. But, well, that's where good books can come in to help teach us all good grammar. :D
Hummingbird - oh, yes, I completely agree. It seems like just in the past few years, the incorrect use of "myself" has been quite ubiquitous. I know that when masses of people begin to use the language differently, sometimes it all evolves into an "exception". But, I really hope this use of "myself" doesn't. Thanks for your great comments.
This is one that drives ME nuts! Thanks for a great Hub!
WillStarr - haha. This drove ME so nuts, I had to proclaim to the world my disgust in this hub! Hehehe. Thanks for stopping by!
We can spend an eternity writing about the wrong usage of words (nouns and pronouns), but this will not stop people from writing and speaking the way they do.
Interesting and helpful hub - voted up
John
John - very true. At least I tried. :) People will go on committing their grammar mistakes and it will continue to annoy me, but at least I know that there's one little page in cyberspace that...maybe...one...day...could...help. Haha. Thanks for stopping by.
Well done! I don't know that I could have handled this (one of my pet peeves) with such humor.
Hehehe...I usually have some trouble with humor but for some reason, it comes out more easily in grammar hubs. Go figure. Thanks for reading and commenting, RedElf. :D
Excellent explanation! And funny, too. If a reader can't get the points you deliver here, then there's something wrong, but not with you yourself. ;) Rated up, interesting, and funny.
Haha, Sally. I entertained myself as I wrote this. ;) Thanks for stopping by and reading. I appreciate the votes.
This was not only a great hub, it was a very funny hub. Nice work on making an important point.
I found myself saddened by the fact that I couldn't take the quiz on my mobile phone! However I know I would've failed miserably :P I avoid using the word 'myself' as much as possible because I just don't know when to use it correctly. NOW maybe I will find myself using it more often! (Did I get both of those right? Hahah). Great Hub girl :)
Wow, myself and I learned a lot. 'We' are not English, so 'we' appreciate hubs like this. Thank you so much!
I also find it jarring when someone uses "myself" incorrectly, or when they put "I".!after the verb in a sentence. Improper grammar is the equivalent of fingers on the chalkboard. Great hub. Now if more people would read and follow the advice!
Hehe, Vicki, thanks for stopping by. Haha, I'm glad I could make you laugh. :D
Hehe, you yourself did use all of the "myselfs" correctly. :D Aw, sorry you couldn't take the quiz, Ardie. I'm sure you would have passed with flying colors. ((Hugs)) to you (not yourself)!
Martie - so glad you found this helpful! I'll try to write more of these. :)
Hehehe, right with you there, steph. It really does make me crazy to hear this word misused. There are so many other grammar errors that I'll overlook, but this one really is word-abuse. Hahaha. Thanks for stopping by!
laughs, well 80% isn't too bad right? I will take myself to the men in white coats!
Hehe, Curiad. It doesn't sound like they will be taking you for long. Just a little brush-up here and there and I'm sure you'll be released. :D
Thanks for clearing this up.
P.S.
I didn't get the last question of the quiz. I thought I'm gonna get it. =(
rLcasaLme - eh, no worries. If you got 9/10, you're good to go. ;) Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I myself thank you.
OK, had to vote up and funny, useful, and interesting. I have not run into very many people like that (thank God!) or you would have seen me writing this hub in a similar fashion. But enough about ME! Thanks for sharing.
Heheh I think these comments are just as funny as the Hub! What a great work of art you have here CC
Marla - I'm so glad you found this interesting and funny. Haha. It seems the "myself-ers" seem to be congregating where I live. At least by writing this hub, I don't have to "silently" suffer. Enough about ME, too. :)
Ardie, I myself am enjoying these, too! :D No men in white coats for me. I might have to slap them myself!
Very funny and interesting. What a great read. Voted up.
savanahl - I'm so glad you liked this. I appreciate your stopping by and the votes, too. Cheers!
There is another use of 'me' which is creeping in, at least in England. It is now acceptable to START a sentence with 'Me' - 'Me and Bob went for a walk', 'Me and Jane like HubPages'. I simply hate this usage, it is totally wrong, it is ugly - but even well-educated people are now using it all the time. Ugh!
Kieran - I've been hearing this, too. Ew...it's as if we're all right with sub-standard speech or something. It's one thing if you're a kiddo learning the ropes, but when you're an adult, you'd think that you'd care about using the language correctly. Oh well, hopefully this won't get too common.
I think we (as a society) got so into using "he and I" correctly, that we over-corrected and started putting this phrase after the verb too! E.g. "Don't be mad at he and I." Cringe, I know. Thanks for the tips! I just wrote a hub on how to write "right", including a list of commonly misused words (homophones mostly). Would love your input! Btw, is the comma supposed to be inside the quotation marks, like "right,"? That seems wrong.
sunbun - thanks for stopping by! I'll definitely hop over and take a look at your hubs. :) I just love writing about all the grammar do's and don'ts. You also seem very adept at it. You're right, the comma generally goes in the quotation marks. There are some weird exceptions, but when in doubt, always put the comma inside the quote brackets. :) Thanks for stopping by!!
billybuc Level 8 Commenter 3 months ago
Thank you so much for this hub; I will be grateful if anyone out there reads it and then uses the information to improve their writing. You are hilarious and I enjoy your hubs!